Everybody has a darkish facet, proper? All of us have moments the place we’re not at our greatest as a consequence of stress, exhaustion, or immaturity. However what occurs after we’re at our absolute worst? In the present day that’s what we’re going to discover. Every of the 9 Enneagram varieties can descend into unhealthy conduct when they’re utilizing unhealthy coping mechanisms and going to excessive lengths to keep away from their core worry. In the present day we’re going to have a look at how these varieties present up at their worst and provides some pointers for shifting previous this stage.
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The Darkish Facet of Every Enneagram Sort
Enneagram Ones have a driving want to be good and to have integrity. These are varieties that may push themselves to the brink of exhaustion merely to do what they consider is true. At their finest, they’re smart, beneficiant, and uplifting. Tolerance is a trademark trait of the wholesome One. They know that no one is ideal, however they create out the most effective in individuals just by being current. Their pure integrity evokes others to dwell with extra intention and function.
The Enneagram One Darkish Facet:
When Ones are unhealthy or immature they will present a darkish facet that’s removed from the noble, wise facet that exhibits up when they’re wholesome. Unhealthy Ones worry that they’re realizing their worst worry: that they’re certainly turning into corrupted or “evil.” They attempt to management their impulses, justify themselves, or rid themselves of anybody or something who makes them conscious of their corruption. Their inside turmoil exhibits up in an obsessive, controlling nature. If they will management every thing outdoors themselves then maybe they will idiot themselves into believing they’re actually okay.
Unhealthy Ones are illiberal to others and closed-minded to anybody who exhibits a special worth system from their very own. Black-and-white, absolutist considering is a trademark of the unhealthy One. They’ll by no means be flawed, even when given objectively verifiable information. If you’re round these Ones you’re feeling like you might be strolling on eggshells for worry of triggering their condemnation. Just like the priest in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, these Ones are fast to guage and condemn what’s completely different from themselves whereas secretly harboring ideas which can be removed from pure or righteous.
The unhealthy One is a deeply conflicted and tormented particular person. They wrestle with obsessive ideas which can be corrupt or evil. The extra they attempt to silence these ideas, the extra they appear to flare up uncontrollably. The extra they repress their emotions and impulses, the more severe they turn out to be twisted and distorted. In consequence, Ones expend great vitality merely attempting to place a lid on these ideas; to concentrate on one thing else. They might obsessively clear, management their meals consumption, finances their cash, or in any other case attempt to arrange and handle their surroundings to allow them to really feel a component of management.
The Enneagram One darkish facet is usually a highly effective and overwhelming power, however with the fitting help this Enneatype can study to seek out steadiness and peace of thoughts. Via understanding their want for perfection, their worry of being seen as corrupt, and their inside battle between these two contradictory forces, they will uncover the noble and smart Enneagram One inside. If you happen to really feel like you might be at this sort of a darkish and unhealthy place, I’d advocate speaking to a psychological well being skilled who will help you kind out the roots of those points. If you happen to’d like to seek out extra ideas for regaining equilibrium, you’ll be able to scroll to the underside of my article on the struggles of the Enneagram One to seek out some ideas.
Enneagram Twos have a driving want to be cherished for who they honestly are. Deep down, they’re afraid that no matter they do won’t ever be sufficient to really deserve and achieve love; that they’re unworthy of being cherished. At their finest, Twos love unconditionally with out anticipating something in return. Their pleasure and generosity spark emotions of heat and acceptance in these round them. They’ve the capability to be deeply compassionate and understanding, typically selflessly placing others first.
The Enneagram Two Darkish Facet:
When Twos are unhealthy or immature they will present a darkish facet that’s removed from the loving, beneficiant facet that exhibits up when they’re wholesome. Unhealthy Twos give with the intention to get. They attempt to achieve love via manipulation relatively than via authentically beneficiant acts. This Two is a grasp within the artwork of the “guilt journey”; doing small favors for others, then performing shocked and harm when others don’t present enough appreciation.
“They’ll play others like an orchestra, upping the extent of guilt right into a disturbing crescendo or dampening it all the way down to a whisper, as wanted. They play individuals towards one another, and worse, they can play others towards themselves…by casting others into self-doubt and making them really feel responsible and confused, unhealthy Twos throw others off the scent of their very own manipulations.” – Don Richard Riso with Russ Hudson, Character Varieties: Utilizing the Enneagram for Self-Discovery
Enneagram Twos turn out to be overly depending on others and search to regulate these round them, convincing themselves that they do no matter they do out of affection and care. Unhealthy Enneagram Twos could also be liable to drama and disaster, seeing their very own issues as the one actual ones on this planet. They’re specialists at making themselves the focus whereas enjoying the function of martyr with the intention to achieve love. Typically they really feel victimized by others; taken benefit of or used. And, in truth, they might have been taken benefit of by others, notably of their pasts. However the unhealthy Two is fast to see themselves the sufferer when others merely aren’t offering sufficient “love” to fill the bottomless gap of longing they’ve within them. These Twos really feel entitled to the love and subservience of others, as a result of they really feel that they’ve earned it via “selfless” acts. This Two might not have even accomplished a lot to assist another person, however at their core they really feel a proper to be taken care of, and anticipate others to do the heavy lifting.
Twos don’t begin off on this unhealthy state, nonetheless. Often they arrive right here by being harm and brought benefit of, notably in childhood, to a degree the place they now not know what actual love is and so they’re uninterested in giving to others, as a result of it hasn’t labored out so effectively for them up to now.
Whereas the Enneagram Two darkish facet could also be arduous to have a look at, it doesn’t imply that every one Enneagram Twos are doomed to dwell in a state of unhealthy darkness. In actual fact, with consciousness and trustworthy reflection, Enneagram Twos can start to see the patterns of their conduct that now not serve them, in addition to any false core perception techniques they might have adopted. From there, Enneagram Twos can start a course of of non-public development and transformation that allows them to seek out real love for themselves and others. With the fitting help, Enneagram Twos can rediscover their spark of generosity and compassion, which is able to permit them to expertise actual love that’s unconditional and true.
I’d encourage anybody who pertains to this description of the Enneagram Two to hunt out help within the type of psychological well being professionals or private development coaches. Via the assistance of others, Enneagram Twos can study to inform the distinction between wholesome giving pushed by real love and unhealthy giving pushed by a necessity for approval.
If you happen to really feel that you’re headed into an unhealthy place, you may as well try my article concerning the 7 struggles of the Enneagram Two. There are ideas in that article for getting again to a constructive state of mind.
At their finest, Threes are real and motivating. They’re pushed by a want to enhance the world and persist in far-reaching objectives. Diligent and pleasant, they make nice leaders and they’re typically the go-to particular person on the subject of getting issues accomplished. The Three’s core want is to be priceless and worthwhile, however their core worry is that they’re nugatory and will probably be rejected.
The Enneagram Three Darkish Facet:
As Threes descend into their darkish facet, they cease trying just like the benevolent, motivating Threes we talked about within the first paragraph. They turn out to be opportunistic, manipulative, and misleading. Inside they really feel desolate and empty as a result of they’re so out of contact with their emotions and values that they will solely discover a “repair” in others’ admiration of them. Any vulnerability or inside wounding they are going to disguise with a masks of false confidence and coolness.
The unhealthy Three is indifferent from their core; they don’t even know who they’re anymore. As a substitute, they are going to do no matter it takes to persuade others that they’re distinctive. However as a substitute of incomes others’ admiration they distort the reality, minimize corners, lie, and even take credit score for others’ work. These Threes will do practically something to look like successes to others, even when these very issues harm themselves and push them additional into a spot of disconnection and vacancy. This opportunism and dishonesty creates a simultaneous worry that they are going to be “discovered.” Then they are going to understand their largest worry; that they’re, certainly, nugatory and rejected. So long as they will maintain the facade going, they really feel that they will keep away from that worry as a result of others will see them as worthwhile as a consequence of their competency. They turn out to be compulsive about mendacity, as a result of they so want to make an impression and to look excellent. As their inside world turns into extra tormented and afraid, they push to look calm and competent and charming on the surface. At their very worst, they might benefit from the downfall of others merely to allow them to really feel superior as compared.
Like all of the Enneatypes, unhealthy Threes don’t sometimes begin out unhealthy. They typically start down this darkish path in childhood, after they really feel a should be particular and distinctive with the intention to achieve love and approval from dad and mom or caregivers who could also be emotionally absent or arduous to please. Enneagram Threes turn out to be so used to attempting to please and make an impression that they neglect their true selves within the course of.
The excellent news is Enneagram Threes have great potential for private development if they will acknowledge their unhealthy patterns, which frequently come from core insecurity and emotional disconnection. Via private development, Enneagram Threes can convey extra authenticity again into their lives, be extra linked with their very own emotions and values, and study that they’re worthwhile even with out grandiose ranges of success. I’d encourage Enneagram Threes to hunt out help within the type of psychological well being professionals to allow them to start the journey of uncovering their true self and discovering inside peace and calm relatively than vacancy and disgrace. Serving to out of their communities can be an efficient path in direction of therapeutic. Many Threes discover renewed readability after they help a trigger that issues to them or discover a group the place they will work in direction of one thing that advantages others.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram Three: The Enneagram 3 Baby
At their finest, Enneagram Fours embrace life with an impressed, trustworthy, and intuitive spirit. They’re inventive, delicate, and passionate and are deeply in contact with the human situation. Contentment is a key trait of the wholesome 4, and so they discover pleasure in participating with the world round them whereas nonetheless sustaining their very own inside sense of self.
The core want of the 4 is to seek out themselves and their significance, whereas their core worry is that they don’t have any id or private significance.
The Enneagram 4 Darkish Facet:
As Fours descend into darkness, they turn out to be overwhelmed with the sensation that they’ve misplaced each alternative to seek out themselves and their very own significance. They turn out to be overwhelmed by misplaced alternatives and their very own perceived failures. Not solely are they affected by a way of grief over what they haven’t achieved, they’re full of a way of desperation that they by no means will accomplish something significant. Thus, they attempt to minimize off their wishes. They don’t need to harm anymore, so in the event that they don’t need something, they consider they will shield themselves from ache. What outcomes is that every one the life and emotional depth drains out of them and so they really feel fatigued, apathetic, and alienated from everybody round them and even themselves.
The unhealthy 4 typically believes that their issues are worse than everybody else’s and that others have all allow them to down. As a result of they crave uniqueness, at an unhealthy stage, they discover that sense of uniqueness within the depth of their struggling. Their disappointment in themselves intensifies and so they start to hate themselves and see solely their worst inside qualities. They consider they’re unworthy of affection from anybody and turn out to be obsessive about morbid fantasies. In the end, they really feel rightly rejected by everybody and satisfied that they’re totally and completely faulty.
The excellent news is Enneagram Fours have great potential for private development and success. It’s extraordinarily tough for an unhealthy 4 to see this potential in themselves, but when they will take step one and search help from a therapist, life coach, or trusted information, they will start to grasp that deep down they’re nonetheless worthwhile, worthy, and have unimaginable potential. I’d additionally urge any 4 who’s studying this text to take time to assume via your core values. What issues to you in life? What ethics do you maintain quick to? Discover a couple of issues you are able to do every day to bolster these values. Whether or not which means volunteering for a trigger or creating some easy artwork round these values, discover a option to get in contact with the issues that matter to you on a soul stage.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram 4: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Character Sort
At their finest, Enneagram Fives are visionary thinkers who steadiness curiosity with playfulness. They like to study, however even moreso, they like to invent and create in the actual world. Their open-minded, exploratory lifestyle provides others an analogous want to study and experiment.
The core want of the 5 is to be succesful and competent, and the core worry of the 5 is that they’re helpless or incapable.
The Enneagram 5 Darkish Facet:
Enneagram Fives of their darkish facet are affected by doubt and disgust not solely on the world outdoors, however themselves. They really feel that they are going to inevitably fail at something they try to do on this planet and that they are going to by no means discover a place to slot in in society. Fairly than attempting to experiment with concepts and create one thing, they as a substitute concentrate on invalidating others’ concepts. They achieve pleasure from discrediting others, poking enjoyable on the foolishness of the world, and rejecting what others consider. Any attachment to others feels threatening, so Fives at this stage justify their reclusiveness by dropping all religion in humanity or its worth.
Sadly, as Fives retreat additional and additional into the darkness of their very own isolation, they turn out to be increasingly more afraid of the world outdoors. They really feel incapable of coping and subsequently rid themselves of something that might power engagement or connection to something exterior. Perhaps they dwell in a small room, consuming little or no, working as little as doable to fulfill the naked minimal of their bills. They’re affected by anxiousness and turn out to be disconnected from their our bodies; they really feel as if they’re merely concepts and ideas linked to dangling limbs. Many Fives at this stage expertise insomnia as a result of they’re so riddled with fears that some unseen power will harm them whereas they sleep. They aren’t simply afraid of the world outdoors, they’re afraid of their very own ideas which turn out to be more and more morbid. Horrific fantasies and concepts play earlier than their minds’ eye in an infinite stream and so they really feel helpless to cease it. To compound issues, they resist any assist from others and minimize themselves off increasingly more from exterior sources of help.
This can be very tough for Fives at this stage to achieve out to others for help, however that is precisely what they have to do. Enneagram Fives have great potential to be joyful and unique, however solely when they’re firmly grounded in what’s actual. Getting skilled assist, getting in contact with nature, and exploring inventive shops may be nice methods for Enneagram Fives to begin shifting out of the darkness and again into their potential. It may possibly really feel scary and uncomfortable at first, however it’s important. Fives can begin easy, by taking quiet walks in nature or sending a textual content to a trusted buddy. Even a couple of small steps every day will make a distinction. Fives ought to attempt to get into their our bodies, stretching, meditating, or figuring out. They need to push themselves to attach with outdoors help in the event that they’re at this unhealthy stage. A counselor who specializing in coping with anxiousness and despair is usually a great useful resource.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram 5: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 5 Character Sort
At their finest, Sixes are brave and grounded. They worth loyalty, camaraderie, and compassion for many who are handled unfairly on this planet. They take it upon themselves to guard their households and associates from hazard, and are recognized to be reliable and pragmatic.
The core worry of the Six is that they’re unable to outlive on their very own or that they’re with out help. The core want of the Six is to seek out safety, help, and belonging.
The Enneagram Six Darkish Facet:
When Sixes start to enter their darkish facet, they develop more and more skeptical of others. They really feel affected by doubt that others will betray them. Some Sixes react by testing others, turning into belligerent and passive-aggressive. Others are extra overtly confrontational; defiantly lashing out at individuals they worry will double-cross them. As these assaults and checks on others multiply, they’ve moments of extreme anxiousness that they’re turning away all their supporters. Their core worry, to be alone and with out help, appears to be coming true. They drown in self-disparagement and really feel overwhelmed by insecurity. As their anxiousness will increase, they maintain ever tightly to the supporters they nonetheless have of their lives. They turn out to be clingingly dependent and panicky, terrified that their final threads of help will break.
As this panic and worry escalates, Sixes consider that every thing is a disaster. Their anxiousness feels increasingly more uncontrolled, and so they turn out to be more and more paranoid. Projection is a day by day drawback; and Sixes at this stage will venture all their darkest fears onto others and so they really feel sure that others are out to get them, betray them, or harm them not directly. This paranoia and worry escalates into rage, and the Six worries that every one their emotions of hate and anger are literally emotions others are harboring in direction of them. They really feel a ceaseless urge to guard themselves from all of the assaults they’re certain others are about to ship their manner.
The Enneagram Six wants to achieve out for help and take decisive motion to interrupt freed from their downward spiral. Reaching out to a counselor or therapist who focuses on Enneagram character varieties or anxiousness may be tremendously useful. Discovering methods to turn out to be extra grounded can be essential. Taking time to observe deep respiratory, meditation, and prayer will help Enneagram Sixes to turn out to be extra centered and conscious of what’s actual. Writing in a journal, studying self-help books, or speaking with trusted associates are additionally nice strategies for gaining steadiness, readability, and perspective.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sixes: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Six Character Sort
At their finest, Sevens have a contentment and appreciation with life that many envy. They’re energetic and enthusiastic optimists who worth positivity and search to seek out the nice in all issues. Sevens convey pleasure, humor, and keenness wherever they go.
The core want of the Seven is to be glad and content material. The core worry of the Seven is to be trapped or to be in ache or deprivation.
The Enneagram Seven Darkish Facet:
When Enneagram Sevens start to maneuver into their darkish facet, they turn out to be caught in a cycle of craving experiences that may by no means convey them true satisfaction. The act of buying a brand new issues or expertise rapidly turns into an dependancy, and Enneagram Sevens frantically race to accumulate the following smartest thing with the intention to fulfill their core want for contentment.
Sevens at this stage turn out to be obsessive about in search of pleasure and avoiding ache. They keep in movement, consistently performing on impulse, hoping that in the event that they keep busy they will keep away from their very own unhappiness and inside ache. Being alone amplifies their anxiousness, in order that they strain others to do no matter exercise they’re concerned in. Sadly, at this stage many Sevens get pleasure from less-than-healthy pursuits like binge consuming or extreme partying in pursuit of momentary pleasure.
Sevens at this darkish stage are sometimes extremely reactive and present little to no management of their emotional impulses. They act out, throw issues, burst into tears, insult individuals, throw punches. With a purpose to rid themselves of no matter disturbing feeling is plaguing them, they act out on no matter they really feel. These Sevens are removed from the joyous, impressed Sevens at a wholesome stage. They’re emotionally immature, depressed, and manic.
As with all the kinds, an important factor at this stage is to hunt skilled assist in the type of a counselor or help group. Enneagram Sevens also needs to discover methods to observe mindfulness with the intention to achieve readability. Meditation, prayer, yoga, journaling, or another exercise that helps them relax is essential. Taking time to study one thing new or learn a ebook can be immensely useful for Enneagram Sevens in want of some perspective.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sevens: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Seven
At their finest, Eights are protecting and compassionate individuals who encourage braveness in others. Whereas they’ve sturdy, assertive personalities, they aren’t impulsive and reckless. They problem themselves to be honorable and examine their motives in all they do.
The core want of the Enneagram Eight is to guard themselves and have management of their very own life and future. The core worry of this kind is to be harmed or managed by others.
The Enneagram Eight Darkish Facet:
When Enneagram Eights transfer into their darkish facet, they turn out to be domineering and forceful. They turn out to be obsessive about having energy, and don’t thoughts intimidating or manipulating others with the intention to achieve it. They provoke and confront individuals, believing that individuals are out to govern or management them. Due to their harsh, ruthless nature, they have an inclination to assemble enemies wherever they go. They consider it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and so they need to be the highest canine who doesn’t rely upon anybody. Would possibly is every thing, and weak point is despised.
Eights at this stage are sometimes consumed with a should be proper. They don’t perceive that compromise is important in relationships, and so they understand it as an indication of non-public weak point. Any restrictions or guidelines are supposed to be defied, though they don’t thoughts implementing guidelines on others and tyrannically telling individuals what to do. Sadly, these Eights are sometimes lonely and disliked. As a result of they see indicators of friendliness or gentleness as weak point, they push away individuals who might nurture and help them. In addition they keep away from being weak and open with others, believing they are going to be betrayed or taken benefit of.
Getting assist at this stage appears practically inconceivable for the unhealthy Eight. As with all of the Enneatypes, when they’re this unhealthy, they typically really feel that their weaknesses are requirements for survival. Speaking to a counselor or opening as much as associates feels particularly ridiculous to the unhealthy Eight, as a result of they don’t belief anybody and so they hate the concept of being weak. Nonetheless, for those who’re an Eight and also you acknowledge these unhealthy traits in your self, I’d urge you to take steps in direction of therapeutic. Understand that your highly effective character was meant for use to enhance the world, to not dominate it. Search skilled assist or be a part of a help group to discover ways to channel your energy in wholesome, constructive methods. Understand that you simply deserve friendships and trustworthy relationships with individuals; even when there are some dangers concerned. No danger, no reward, proper? Discover one small factor you are able to do for another person each day, whether or not that be a easy praise or serving to somebody with a sensible job. At your finest, you will have a magnanimous, highly effective character that may drastically enhance the lives of others (and your self).
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Eights: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram Eight Sort
At their finest, Enneagram Nines are peaceable, supportive individuals who embrace life with a gradual sense of function. They care deeply about their family members and try to create concord in relationships. Enneagram Nines additionally possess an inside serenity and depth of creativeness that enables them to realize insights that may assist enhance the world.
The core want of Enneagram Nines is to really feel safe and have peace of thoughts. The core worry of this kind is loss or separation.
The Enneagram 9 Darkish Facet
As Nines descend into darkness, they turn out to be increasingly more indifferent from themselves and the world round them. Caught in denial, they refuse to face conflicts or issues and dwell inside their very own illusions. These Nines refuse to do something they don’t need to do, however in addition they don’t know what they need. They block individuals out, ignoring their duties, relationships, and kids (if they’ve them). Sometimes they are going to erupt into bouts of rage, however they are going to rapidly relax, pretending that nothing occurred.
At this stage of well being, Enneagram Nines turn out to be addicted to flee and keep away from something that might power them to take care of actuality. Typically they really feel depressed, confused, and depending on individuals who have extra controlling tendencies. Neglect is a key trait of this kind; if they’re dad and mom, they are going to neglect to take their children and will probably be oblivious to their emotional wants. However their neglectfulness extends to themselves as effectively. They might miss physician’s appointments, skip work, or neglect to select their children up from faculty. It’s as if this kind is in a fog they will’t get out of. Changing into conscious of all of the methods they’ve failed others would solely make them really feel worse, in order that they proceed in dissociation. Typically they really feel like life is sort of a dangerous dream and they’re helpless to interrupt out of it, as a result of actuality is just too painful to take care of.
Getting assist is feasible however tough for Enneagram Nines at this unhealthy stage, since they’re so comfy repressing their true emotions and desires. Nonetheless, the Enneagram 9 can take some steps to begin the therapeutic course of. Begin by recognizing that your feelings exist and you’ve got a proper to really feel them – whether or not it’s disappointment, anger, or unhappiness. Begin to turn out to be conscious of the methods your conduct has harm different individuals and make amends. Discover inventive shops – specific your self via music, artwork, writing, or something that brings you pleasure. Lastly, search out counseling or remedy if it’s out there to you. As soon as Enneagram Nines start their therapeutic journey, they will reconnect with themselves and the world round them in a strong manner.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Nines: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram 9 Sort.
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